It was the middle of last summer and I realized one day I had a tightness in my chest that didn’t want to go away.
Since I’ve had anxiety before I recognized it for what it was. Why I had it was another matter. What had started it? I wanted to figure out.
Finally my brain came up with the answer….. and the anxiety diminished with knowledge.
‘Stage fright’ or ‘performance anxiety’ I call it.
I’d signed up for my first writing competition and I was busy getting critique and offering my 5c to others as per the request of the organizers.
On some levels I was happy to hear what others thought of my work. This was an opportunity to grow as a writer.
However, the thought of actually uploading the finished story (really, is anything we write ever finished in our own mind?) and pressing “send” was daunting!
Was I really going to do this? Put myself out there? For good or bad, people would read all that nonsense I thought up.
I did press send however and it actually felt good.
- That I had made the decision to pursue my writing to the point of entering a contest.
- I had written and edited a short story (1500 words. Harder than I thought it would be.)
- I had accepted and learned from the critique of other writers, either published or aspiring to do so, like myself.
- I did not back out but took a deep breath and clicked on send, putting my story into the mix with a few other hopefuls.
Whether I won or even had an ‘honorable mention’, which I didn’t, was beside the point. Of course it would have been a real boost to have any of that happen.
I feel like a success to have made it this far and it has given me material to use for this blog. – I know I sound like an academy award nominee. So be it. 🙂